Men Would Like to Know: Why did you even go out with me then?

So the last episode asked the question: why do girls go the club when they just want to dance with their girlfriends. I posed a couple of scenarios where girls were determined to only dance with their homegirls and other situations where a girl's friend would hate on a dude tryna get at one of her friends. After reading all the comments, I think I'm more perplexed about the situation than before. A few girls mentioned that guys just shouldn't holla at the club, but we all have had many cases where we've been successful, so that doesn't really make sense. Plus, if we shouldn't be hollerin' at the club (because of the "how did you guys meet?" story), then why would guys even go to the club? Most go to get a females. And no I'm not just talking about just to hook up either. I guess it'll continue to be a mystery. Like Tosin said, it's like playing the stock market.

Anyway, on to the 8th episode of the "Men Would Like to Know" series...

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So I would like to start off by mentioning that the following situation did not happen to me. Something somewhat similar happened to someone I know (no it's not Tijani this time) and it inspired the following situation. But when I heard the story I got so heated thinking about what I'd do in the situation, that it felt like it happened to me. That's why I'm writing the scenario as if it did happen to me.


So I'm on a first date with this woman at a restaurant that I'd describe as an upscale Cheesecake Factory. She's attractive, seemed cool and interested in me when we chopped it up a few times on the phone, so I have optimism for our date. The waitress sits us down at our table, and shows us the wine list asking us if we would care for some glasses of wine. Now I'm not a wine drinker, so I politely pass, but apparently my date (let's call her Jacqui) is interested because she begins perusing the list.

After looking it over for a few minutes, she says to the waitress, "Um... can I have a glass of your finest Merlot?" And I'm thinking in my head: "Wait, what did she just say? Their finest Merlot? Is she serious right now?" Because you know what "finest" means. Finest basically means "most expensive." There isn't anything that's "fine" that's cheap, whether you're talking about wine, clothes, cars or even women. Yup, that's right, fine women are expensive too.

If Jacqui looked like Sanaa there wouldn't have been a problem. At all.

But the thing is, Jacqui wasn't even that fine. She was attractive, definitely cute, but let me just be real here. She wasn't fine enough to be ordering the restaurant's "finest Merlot." I mean c'mon now. Like I said, I'm not much of a wine drinker, so if she's gonna order wine, Imma need the wine to be commensurate with her looks. That's like an average dude tryna pull a dime - you're just not supposed to go beyond your means. If a woman is going to order the "finest wine" on our first date, her name would have to be: Sanaa Lathan, Zoe Saldana, Gabrielle Union, Paula Patton (I seriously hate Robin Thicke) or Alicia Keys (did you see her at the BET Awards?!?!). Let's pause and have a moment of silence in honor of these fine ladies... Amen.

Now some of you may think I'm trippin' because it's just a glass a wine. And you're right, it was just a glass of wine. After the initial shock, I settled down, and I was fine with it. I reasoned with myself that she was probably just a little bougie or siddity. I can handle a little siddity. But unfortunately, this was only the beginning.

The waitress comes back to take our order for the meal. Jacqui is still deciding, so she let's me go first. I order my favorite dish, chicken parmesan. Then Jacqui orders the chicken pasta primavera. The waitress went over our order and began to walk away, but Jacqui called her back. She wasn't through ordering! Jacqui also ordered baked salmon on a bed of rice pilaf. At this point I'm looking at her real crazy. I'm thinking "Yo, did this chick just order TWO entrees?!?! Why don't you just order the Fillet Mignon and make it a tri-combo a la Stanford Late Nite?!" I guess this would be a good time to point out that Jacqui was not a big girl. Just need to clarify.

I ain't saying Jacqui was a gold digger, but...

As it turns out, she didn't even eat the second entree. It was going to be her Monday lunch! Why does she need a $25 entree for lunch? Imma need her to make herself a couple of bologna sandwiches, throw in some Doritos (cuz that's not yo cheese), and call it day. In retrospect, I wish I would've called her out. Shoulda tried to make her seem greedy or fat so maybe she would reconsider ordering two entrees. But instead I said nothing. I was just stunned, still reeling from the glass of the "finest wine" she was still sippin' on. I was kinda hoping that maybe the waitress would make some sort of comment to help a brotha out, but instead she had a smile on her face. It was as if she was giving Jacqui "mental dap," thinking "I see what you doin'! Go 'head and get yours girl! I ain't mad at ya!"

So by this time, I'm feelin' extra salty. I don't even wanna talk to this chick no more. I'm just trying to eat my chicken parmesan as fast I can so I can get the check and bounce (I was still debating whether or not I'd give her a ride back). The check comes and she doesn't even offer to pay. Not even for her extra entree. She doesn't even look at the bill. I look at it, and there are about 30 line items, and only one of them is mine. I mean, on a first date I'm always gonna pay, but it's a nice gesture when a lady offers to at least split it. I'll decline, but at least she offered. It's a first clue that she might not be a leech or a gold digger. But alas, such was not the case with this one. I gave her a couple of minutes to see if she'd get the hint and at least look at the cheese she just spent on this meal, but she didn't. I gave the waitress my credit card and we got up outta there.

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So what did the waitress see when she was giving Jacqui mental dap? She saw Jacqui getting her "free meal" on. It's apparent that Jacqui wasn't feeling me. If she did, she wouldn't have disrespected me by not only ordering the expensive wine, but also getting the to-go plate as if we were eating at Chili's. So if she wasn't feeling me, then she must have been feeling the food, particularly the fact that it was FREE (for her).

So this begs the question: why do women go out on a date with a man who they know they aren't feeling? For a free meal! I know girls do this because I've had many tell me explicitly that that is the only reason why they agreed to go out on the date. "I don't even really like him. He's too short, too skinny, too light-skinned, too this, too that. But giiiiirrrrlllll, it's a free meal, so please believe Imma still go." Now y'all know this dude is feeling you (why else would he wanna go out on a date with you?) and you're just going for the free meal? That's kinda shady right? Sure there's a small chance that you might actually change your mind and like him in the end, but the other 95-99% of the time, my man is out $50+ with nothing to show for it but a date with crumbs around her mouth.

But hey, I may be wrong. Maybe there are other less shady reasons why you'd go out with a dude knowing you're not feeling him. I can't think of any, but I, and the rest of men, would like to know...


This blog post is purely fictional. Any similarity or connection to actual people, places or events is purely coincidental. For educational purposes only.