So about two weeks ago, I wrote a blog post asking on behalf of women why dudes primarily text message a girl that they are talking to. I wasn't sure about the prevalence of the problem, but from the responses I received, texting is rampant.
Although face-to-face interaction is always preferred, most ladies would rather a phone conversation than a "textvo." They also felt that if a guy is resulting to only texting, he's not that serious about them and he gets dismissed. The dudes pretty much agreed with me saying that the girl has to be "worth it" in order for them to step their game up from a text message to a phone call.
So from both sides, it seems that a dude texting is a sign of a lack of real interest. So my advice to dudes in the "talking" stage would be to give your thumbs a rest and try to hold an actual convo if you're really feeling her. Although I'm sure that when you're all wifed & caked up, sending a "I miss you boo boo" text would be well received.
Now back to the male point of view with the 11th episode of the Men Would Like to Know series...
I think the reasons why it's annoying are pretty obvious. Half the phone time is spent with her talking/laughing/carrying-on with her friends instead of talking to me. And a lot of the times, she's even talking about something I know nothing about. She says to her girls "Do you remember that time when we..." and I'm thinking in my head: "Noooo... CUZ I WASN'T THERE!"
And if the convo lasts long enough, one of her friends invariably wants to talk to me. Now if I'm lucky, I'll get the cool friend who's easy to conversate with and leaves me at the end of the convo thinking, "hmmm, if I wasn't with my girl, I'd... prolly... holla... at... her..." Ummm, just kidding?
But usually what happens is that I end up talking to a friend who for whatever reason just isn't all that interesting/engaging/personable/etc. I still gotta be polite because offending her friend is like offending her and that brings about all kinds of problems. I gotta still be charming because I want the friend to think I'm a good dude for her girl. But I have to be careful not to be too swagerific or the friend will think I'm triflin' and actually tryna get at her. If I play it just right though and she thinks I'm cool, the rest of her friends are gonna wanna talk to me and I end up spending 15 minutes talking to some females I really couldn't care less about. Let's just be real here.
Dudes on the other hand, will at all costs try to avoid caking in front of their boys. A dead giveaway that his girl is calling him is when he looks at the ringing phone and just walks away to answer it. Another clear indication is when he answers it with a soft "hey." I feel like even if I was married, and my wife called me while I was with my boys, I would have to take the convo outside if it past a certain cake threshold. And if I was in a situation in which I couldn't leave the presence of my boys (like in the car), I'd most definitely hit her with the "Baby, lemme call you back." And then I'd cake text her so she won't be too mad at me. Dudes actually don't have a problem with cake texting in front of their boys.
So are my flattering assumptions accurate or am I way off? Are y'all actually just kinda bored with your homegirls and decided to call us? Is it just completely innocent and you don't have show-off motivation for calling us with your girls around? Do ladies actually enjoying caking on the phone in front of their homegirls? Men would like to know...
Update: Check out the facebook note version of this blog entry for many more comments on this topic.