Before I jump into episode 4 of the "Men Would Like to Know" series, I'd like to just quickly wrap up my findings from episode 3 about the engagement ring. Now I fully expected to ruffle a few feathers with my question about whether you ladies would be willing to get engaged without an engagement ring, but I definitely didn't expect the massive amount of responses I received. I think the consensus response amounted to "BOY, you crazy!" To sum things up, fellas don't come between a woman and her engagement ring.
It's funny though because most women weren't golddiggery enough to say that they wouldn't marry their man if he didn't have the money for a ring (although one did tell me that she wouldn't even put herself in a position to even be with such a man). They would tell me, "I'm marrying HIM and it's about OUR love!" But once their man had enough money for the ring, all that "talk" went away and they definitely wanted their ring. I don't really blame them though. The engagement ring has become such a societal standard that most women feel like they are entitled to it. So be it.
In the end, I probably would get my fiancée an engagement ring. I just don't want to feel like I have to do so. I mean she's already getting me for life, so the ring would be icing on a wonderfully delicious triple-layer cake. But anyway, on to the next episode...
Fellas, it starts out innocently enough right? You and wife(y) are going out some place nice and you guys are getting ready for the occasion. In typical female fashion, she's trying on like 7,000 outfits (claiming she has nothing to wear) and she asks that dreaded question: "Baby, does this make me look fat?" There are only two questions that strike more fear into a man's heart: "Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" and "Is the line blue or pink?"
It's all good if your girl is looking phat (does anybody even still use that?) . That's easy. But if she really is looking fat, you're pretty much screwed. I still don't understand why women would ask this question in that situation. Sometimes I think it's just a test to see what we'll say which is just pure evilness. If she's looking less than stellar, we're in a lose-lose situation because we have only two options:
Option #1: Tell the truth
If we tell her that she doesn't look good in that dress, that would most likely result in her being mad/sad/angry/offended/hurt/insecure/depressed/etc and that could have like eternal ramifications. Plus we get no honesty points. But hey, at least she's not going out looking weak right?
Option #2: Lie through our teeth and say she looks fine
If she's setting us up, we're screwed. Otherwise, we're probably okay. But the problem is we'll feel guilty for lying AND it results in her going out looking less than her best. We don't want that do we?
So my questions to the ladies are first of all, why do you even ask us this question? What good can come of it? And secondly, if the question is legitimate what should we say? Is there even anything we can say that won't result in us sleeping on the couch? Men would like to know...
Just for fun, here are my suggestions:
"Hey, what about that other dress? I really liked that other one..."
"Hey do you wanna start rollin' to the gym with me?"
As always, please feel free to leave your comments. There's no poll this time around. On a side note, I have been asked to start an analogous "Ladies Would Like to Know" series because apparently women have questions for us too, but I haven't gotten any really debatable questions yet. So ladies if you have any suggestions, you can shoot them to me at firstname.lastname@example.org.