Sunday, June 29, 2008

Real World XX: Hollywood Wrap-Up, Episode #11, Making It

Episode #11 was another so-so episode. It was interesting, I guess, but I didn't finish the episode thinking "Dang, I gotta tell errybody to watch it!" I'm beginning to wonder if maybe I'm expecting too much? Is it unrealistic for their to be drama in every episode? My memory of the previous season in Sydney is failing me a little bit, but I feel like there was always something going down between Parisa and Dunbar, or Parisa and Trisha or Parisa and anybody else in the house. It could just be that Noirin was so pleasing to the eye that it didn't matter what else was going on in the show.

Sarah is drunk and stumbles home with Kim and Brianna
After drinking too much, a drunk Sarah stumbles back home to Studio 20 with the assistance of Kim & Brianna

I'm also afraid, though, that I may be sippin' on a lil' haterade because all the Real World cast members are getting (multiple) opportunities handed to them. I mean Brianna, the laziest one out of the crew, got to perform on stage with Alex Band, got to add some vocals on one of his album tracks, and got to record a demo song (called Summertime) with some dude named Tomas. Aside from going to Hollywood Blvd. in her hoochie shorts, she hasn't had to take any initiative.

Sarah got hooked up two times in one episode! I'm not even going to talk about her drunken fight with Nick (she said he looked like Charles Barkley and he called her a poser), because it didn't make any sense from either end. But Sarah failed miserably in her first opportunity with to interview moviegoers after they watched The Mist (crazy ending in that movie btw). After blaming her suckage on boring interviewees she said something like "Reviews are something that's more personality-oriented" and I couldn't help but yell at the TV: "...And that's something that you don't have woman!"

Sarah Ralston hosts a Think MTV news story about a "green" gas station
Sarah hosts a Think MTV news story about a "green" gas station
Anyway, she got another more journalistic opportunity with Think MTV in which she did a fluff piece on an eco-friendly gas station. Her video segment was pretty good. She's definitely well-suited for more reporting type of journalism than the entertaining type. She's much better at telling people about stuff (i.e. nagging) than actually enganging with them. She really didn't have to come to Hollywood in order to get a journalistic gig, but I guess since she's getting exposure and getting hooked up, it was a good decision. I just wish she wasn't on the show.

Nick (and somewhat Kimberly too) actually did really well in his stint with It's amazing what a difference actually having a personality makes! Nick also seemed to really connect with Brandon, the producer, who felt that he had a lot of potential and sort of took Nick under his wing. Even when Brandon was hospitalized after his cancer returned, he told Nick that he really wanted to jump-start his career. Their close bond had to be the reason why Nick took it so hard when Brandon passed away at the end of the episode. Kimberly and Sarah were pretty shook up too, but it was clear that Nick was really, really hit hard.

So Brianna's getting hooked up. Sarah has gotten a couple of opportunities. Dave did his host thang. Kimberly got her shine on. And even Nick made a big splash. This begs the question. What is Will doing? I remember him getting on Brianna about her not being lazy and taking action, but it doesn't look like he's done anything since he laid his puppy dog eyes on Janelle. Wasn't she supposed to be getting him connected with all her contacts in the music industry? I just think it's funny that coming in, he seemed like the main dude who was on top of his stuff and we haven't seen much come to fruition.

So I'm not even really sure how to respond to what's happening next in episode #12. Will gets involved in a fouresome that includes Dave?! And from the look of the preview, both of them seem extra hype about it going in. It all goes down in one bed too! That's completely disgusting. I hope they burn those sheets. Taking a page out of Greg's book, I think I'm gonna have to start calling him William now. Sad.

Missed episode #11? You can watch the full episode over on

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Thursday, June 26, 2008

Men Would Like to Know: Why did you even go out with me then?

So the last episode asked the question: why do girls go the club when they just want to dance with their girlfriends. I posed a couple of scenarios where girls were determined to only dance with their homegirls and other situations where a girl's friend would hate on a dude tryna get at one of her friends. After reading all the comments, I think I'm more perplexed about the situation than before. A few girls mentioned that guys just shouldn't holla at the club, but we all have had many cases where we've been successful, so that doesn't really make sense. Plus, if we shouldn't be hollerin' at the club (because of the "how did you guys meet?" story), then why would guys even go to the club? Most go to get a females. And no I'm not just talking about just to hook up either. I guess it'll continue to be a mystery. Like Tosin said, it's like playing the stock market.

Anyway, on to the 8th episode of the "Men Would Like to Know" series...

So I would like to start off by mentioning that the following situation did not happen to me. Something somewhat similar happened to someone I know (no it's not Tijani this time) and it inspired the following situation. But when I heard the story I got so heated thinking about what I'd do in the situation, that it felt like it happened to me. That's why I'm writing the scenario as if it did happen to me.

So I'm on a first date with this woman at a restaurant that I'd describe as an upscale Cheesecake Factory. She's attractive, seemed cool and interested in me when we chopped it up a few times on the phone, so I have optimism for our date. The waitress sits us down at our table, and shows us the wine list asking us if we would care for some glasses of wine. Now I'm not a wine drinker, so I politely pass, but apparently my date (let's call her Jacqui) is interested because she begins perusing the list.

After looking it over for a few minutes, she says to the waitress, "Um... can I have a glass of your finest Merlot?" And I'm thinking in my head: "Wait, what did she just say? Their finest Merlot? Is she serious right now?" Because you know what "finest" means. Finest basically means "most expensive." There isn't anything that's "fine" that's cheap, whether you're talking about wine, clothes, cars or even women. Yup, that's right, fine women are expensive too.

Sanaa Lathan
If Jacqui looked like Sanaa there wouldn't have been a problem. At all.
But the thing is, Jacqui wasn't even that fine. She was attractive, definitely cute, but let me just be real here. She wasn't fine enough to be ordering the restaurant's "finest Merlot." I mean c'mon now. Like I said, I'm not much of a wine drinker, so if she's gonna order wine, Imma need the wine to be commensurate with her looks. That's like an average dude tryna pull a dime - you're just not supposed to go beyond your means. If a woman is going to order the "finest wine" on our first date, her name would have to be: Sanaa Lathan, Zoe Saldana, Gabrielle Union, Paula Patton (I seriously hate Robin Thicke) or Alicia Keys (did you see her at the BET Awards?!?!). Let's pause and have a moment of silence in honor of these fine ladies... Amen.

Now some of you may think I'm trippin' because it's just a glass a wine. And you're right, it was just a glass of wine. After the initial shock, I settled down, and I was fine with it. I reasoned with myself that she was probably just a little bougie or siddity. I can handle a little siddity. But unfortunately, this was only the beginning.

The waitress comes back to take our order for the meal. Jacqui is still deciding, so she let's me go first. I order my favorite dish, chicken parmesan. Then Jacqui orders the chicken pasta primavera. The waitress went over our order and began to walk away, but Jacqui called her back. She wasn't through ordering! Jacqui also ordered baked salmon on a bed of rice pilaf. At this point I'm looking at her real crazy. I'm thinking "Yo, did this chick just order TWO entrees?!?! Why don't you just order the Fillet Mignon and make it a tri-combo a la Stanford Late Nite?!" I guess this would be a good time to point out that Jacqui was not a big girl. Just need to clarify.

Gold Digger
I ain't saying Jacqui was a gold digger, but...
As it turns out, she didn't even eat the second entree. It was going to be her Monday lunch! Why does she need a $25 entree for lunch? Imma need her to make herself a couple of bologna sandwiches, throw in some Doritos (cuz that's not yo cheese), and call it day. In retrospect, I wish I would've called her out. Shoulda tried to make her seem greedy or fat so maybe she would reconsider ordering two entrees. But instead I said nothing. I was just stunned, still reeling from the glass of the "finest wine" she was still sippin' on. I was kinda hoping that maybe the waitress would make some sort of comment to help a brotha out, but instead she had a smile on her face. It was as if she was giving Jacqui "mental dap," thinking "I see what you doin'! Go 'head and get yours girl! I ain't mad at ya!"

So by this time, I'm feelin' extra salty. I don't even wanna talk to this chick no more. I'm just trying to eat my chicken parmesan as fast I can so I can get the check and bounce (I was still debating whether or not I'd give her a ride back). The check comes and she doesn't even offer to pay. Not even for her extra entree. She doesn't even look at the bill. I look at it, and there are about 30 line items, and only one of them is mine. I mean, on a first date I'm always gonna pay, but it's a nice gesture when a lady offers to at least split it. I'll decline, but at least she offered. It's a first clue that she might not be a leech or a gold digger. But alas, such was not the case with this one. I gave her a couple of minutes to see if she'd get the hint and at least look at the cheese she just spent on this meal, but she didn't. I gave the waitress my credit card and we got up outta there.

So what did the waitress see when she was giving Jacqui mental dap? She saw Jacqui getting her "free meal" on. It's apparent that Jacqui wasn't feeling me. If she did, she wouldn't have disrespected me by not only ordering the expensive wine, but also getting the to-go plate as if we were eating at Chili's. So if she wasn't feeling me, then she must have been feeling the food, particularly the fact that it was FREE (for her).

So this begs the question: why do women go out on a date with a man who they know they aren't feeling? For a free meal! I know girls do this because I've had many tell me explicitly that that is the only reason why they agreed to go out on the date. "I don't even really like him. He's too short, too skinny, too light-skinned, too this, too that. But giiiiirrrrlllll, it's a free meal, so please believe Imma still go." Now y'all know this dude is feeling you (why else would he wanna go out on a date with you?) and you're just going for the free meal? That's kinda shady right? Sure there's a small chance that you might actually change your mind and like him in the end, but the other 95-99% of the time, my man is out $50+ with nothing to show for it but a date with crumbs around her mouth.

But hey, I may be wrong. Maybe there are other less shady reasons why you'd go out with a dude knowing you're not feeling him. I can't think of any, but I, and the rest of men, would like to know...

This blog post is purely fictional. Any similarity or connection to actual people, places or events is purely coincidental. For educational purposes only.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

This is Why I'm Hot!

ZAZZLE has increased its repertoire of merchandise of hip hop artists with the recent addition of platinum artist MIMS. MIMS is best known for his chart-topping single This is Why I'm Hot off of his debut album "Music Is My Savior." You can get your very own custom MIMS t-shirts, hats, posters, and other products over at the MIMS ZAZZLE gallery. Here are some of his products:

The last one is pretty cool because it's a personalizable template and you can put your picture inside the crest. Be hot cuz you're fly...

Monday, June 23, 2008

Real World XX: Hollywood Wrap-Up, Episode #10, In with the New

Finally! Back to an interesting season of the Real World! If you stopped watching the show after Greg left, then you made a mistake. Weird Greg and whiny Joey have left, and in episode #10, they were replaced by two new cast members Brittini and Nick. Before the new roommates came, Kim said "I'm not ready for this." Why? Because I think she had a feeling in her bones that they'd both be Black:

Brittini SherrodBrittini Sherrod, 22

Yaes! A legitimately cute female cast member. Brianna just wasn't doing it for me. But did anybody else feel that she looked good on the show, but weaker in her confessionals? It's like the producers kept waking her up in the middle of night and saying "Get up, you haven't done your confessional for today yet." It was like night & day and I was very confused. I'm afraid that during the day she's just caked up with make-up. Wouldn't be surprising seeing as she's a model (or is it a burlesque dancer?).

So even though it's "ridiculous" how hard Will is falling for Janelle and Brittini supposedly has had a boyfriend for a month, the two of them have been flirting non-stop since she came into Studio 20 and he strutted around the house bottomless (ummmm?). You know they like each other because both of them are denying their feelings for each other.

Brittini kisses Will on the cheek
Will & Brittini are "just friends"
Will pretty much has had to cut her off because he's afraid that he'll get got if they get too close (which he will) and she keeps on fighting it saying she really wants to be his friend because they are roommates. Wasn't she the one who told Brianna that if she didn't have a boyfriend, she'd be all over Will? No one tries that hard to be someone's friend unless they are feeling them. And Will definitely tried to get her when he said "[Janelle]'s more important than you will ever be." Ouch. It's a good thing that Will moved into Dave's room before the new roommates showed up, or Brittini and Will could've been sharing a room, which would've been beyond temptation.

Will is definitely girl crazy though. He's jumped from Brianna (on day 1), to Sarah (I'll never understand this), to Janelle, and now to Brittini. Even though he's supposedly in love with Janelle (who I now believe actually does like him), I still think he'll cheat. You just can't have someone who you're attracted to in the house and not do anything. It's just not possible. Will he stay faithful? My money's on not a chance...

Nick WoodNick Wood, 23

So Nick apparently has come to Hollywood in order to be the next Ryan Seacrest. He and Kim share a lil' moment because she too wants to be a TV host. I know I'd rather see Nick on TV than Kim. Her country accent is starting to get on my nerves. I'm glad she's barely in the episodes now.

But within the first couple of nights, we get an inclination that Nick might be a player. He's already brought two girls back to the house. Unfortunately it turns out to be the "regulars" Reeva and Shaelee (a.k.a. "Reevus & Butthead"). I already know they saw the cameras at the club following Nick around, knew he was one of the new cast members and hit on him immediately. Those girls have no shame whatsoever. They'll do whatever it takes to be on camera. This dude was even tryna kick 'em out the house and they were still tryna kiss on him, knowing he wasn't tryna get with them. If they weren't already, they have definitely made it to groupie status. Sad really.

This episode's focus was mostly on Will getting got by Brittini and Dave doing his host thing (not interesting enough to actually write about). But it seems that Nick will get his shine on in the next episode. Sarah gets wasted and Nick wants to play paparazzi. Sounds like something I would do. Anyway, Sarah gets heated and her and Nick battle it out. Should be fun.

Missed episode #10? You can watch the full episode over on

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Thursday, June 19, 2008

Magic Arm Sleeve for MVP!

The Celtics' Big 3 celebrate with the Larry O'Brien NBA Championship trophy
The Celtics' "Big 3" celebrate with the Larry O'Brien NBA Championship trophy after the Game 6 shellacking of the Lakers at the TD Banknorth Garden in Boston. I think Ray Allen got champagne in his eye.

So the Boston Celtics concluded the 2008 playoffs with a 131-92 spanking of the Los Angeles Lakers in Tuesday night's Game 6 of the Finals. This was the Celtics' 17th NBA championship and their first in 22 years. The game was pretty much over in the second quarter when the Celtics outscored the Lakers 34-15, making 11 baskets on 11 assists. At that point, the Lakers had given up (including Kobe Bryant) on the way to a 39-point embarrassing loss, the biggest margin of victory in a championship clincher.

Jordan pushes off Byron Russell to hit the "Final Shot"
Kobe has not risen to the occasion like Jordan, but he does foul like him
Hopefully now the comparisons to Jordan will cease. Don't get me wrong, Kobe had a fantastic season, but Jordan isn't going out like that. Not in the Finals. If he is gonna go out, at least he woulda gone out blazin'. 22 points (on 7-22 shooting), 3 rebounds, and 1 assist is a very poor showing for the league MVP touted to be the 2nd best ever. I just think it was just a bit too early to start the comparison. I mean he's just now entering the prime of his career. He's finally got a team that could potentially win a championship. Let's reevaluate his Jordan-ness 3 or 4 years from now. Deal? Deal.

Paul Pierce, who averaged 21.8 PPG, 4.5 RPG and 6.3 APG in the Finals, received the MVP trophy. My boy Brandan was convinced that Ray Allen should have been the MVP, especially since he carried the Celtics in Game 3 when Pierce only had 6 points because of foul trouble. At first, I thought he was trippin'. He was telling me this as Pierce was dropping 38 in Game 5 in a close loss (can a brother get a reach-in foul call?). But now that I think about it, he has a point. Ray Allen averaged 20.3 PPG, 5 RPG, and 2.7 APG (although some of those points came in Game 6 when he was shooting 3 pointers like it was pregame warm-ups). In terms of raw numbers, that's pretty close right?

But if you're going to make a case for Ray Allen being finals MVP, then you are really making a case for what I'm calling his "magic arm sleeve." Am I the only one who noticed this? I never heard it mentioned in any of the telecasts or written any in of the articles about the Finals. It's technically an NBA Shooting Arm Sleeve, but for Ray Allen, it definitely worked some magic. Since donning the arm sleeve in Game 5 of the Eastern Conference finals against the Detroit Pistons (where he scored 29 points, grabbed 3 rebounds, and handed out 2 assists), Jesus Shuttlesworth averaged 21 points, 4.9 rebounds, and 2.5 assists for the remaining 8 games of the playoffs. Compare that to a paltry 13.2 PPG, 3.3 RPG, and 2.9 APG in the first 18 games and you can see why I'm calling the sleeve magical.

Ray Allen with his magic arm sleeve
Ray Allen (and the fan behind him) celebrating one of his NBA Finals-record 23 3-pointers thanks to his magic sleeve
Prior to wearing the sleeve, RayRay had been in like a three month shooting slump. It had gotten so bad and Celtics fans were so fed up with his performance (or lack thereof), that even Bill Simmons changed the moniker given to Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce and Ray Allen from "The Big 3" to "The Big 2, Featuring Ray Allen" after Game 4 of the Cleveland series. Allen averaged a meager 9.3 points per game that series.

You know I really don't remember Ray getting injured during that Cleveland series that would have medically warranted him to wear the sleeve. I just think that he knew that the reason he had been slumping was purely mental. He still had the skills, he had just lost his swag. So in order to not turn into a new millennium Nick Anderson, he decided to rock the arm sleeve when he came back to Boston for Game 5. Now I'm sure that the compression from sleeve does provide some sort physical improvement while playing, but I'm convinced that 90% (or higher) of the sleeve's benefit is all mental. Rockin' the arm sleeve (or its cousin the leg sleeve), just adds that tiny bit of swagger to your game that can take it to the next level.

And for Ray Allen it took him from a prediction of a couple of years away from Sam Cassell territory to a legit candidate for Finals MVP. I'd say that's some magical sleeve. I mean did you see his double clutch reverse lay-up in Game 4 of the Finals??? That wasn't just Seattle Sonics Ray Allen, that was Milwaukee Bucks Ray Allen. That play was sick! And the X-Mo that ABC used just made it look nasty. Definitely Jordan-esque. In the words of Mark Jackson, "Mama there goes that man!"

If you're a Celtics fan, ZAZZLE has a number of shirt celebrating Boston's 17th victory. Here are a couple good ones:

Congratulations to the Boston Celtics, the 2008 NBA World Champions! Now I'm gonna go cop an arm sleeve so I can get my swag on too...

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Real World XX: Hollywood Wrap-Up, Episode #9, Joey Checks Out

Everyone who said that the rest of the Real World season would be whack with Greg gone and Joey whining all the time was right. Episode #9 was pretty weak. But don't worry, there's hope! Judging from the previews of the rest of the season, it looks like the season will end with a bang(emums).

Joey Kovar smoking a cigar
Joey starts smoking cigars and drinking coffee in order to cope with his alcohol and drug addiction

So this episode picked up right where the last one left off - with Joey complaining and whining about how he's depressed, doesn't feel supported, and doesn't want to be there. Okay, Joey, we get it. You're unhappy. Duly noted. I think you might have mentioned it before already. Man, he had been complaining so much that by the end of the show, I was able to guess his next complaint with pretty good accuracy. Yep, it's about time that he left.

And then he pushed away Sarah, the only person in the house who really cared about his feelings. I'll agree with him that Sarah's a bit naggy. She's got a lil' wife in her already. But she definitely means well, it's just that she has bad delivery. Joey knew that drinking coffee and smoking cigars was not a good way to cope with anxiety, but the way Sarah approached him with it, made him wanna sock her in the throat. I get that. But don't turn a cold shoulder to the one person who cares about your well-being, and then have your 250th confessional complaining about how no one cares.

And please don't use Sarah's nagging as an excuse to wanna go to the bar and get wasted. What sense does that make? Every little thing made him want to go to a bar and get wasted. "My roommates don't care about me and it makes me wanna go to a bar and get wasted" or "Being in Hollywood is so tough and it makes me wanna go to a bar and get wasted." Next thing you know his shoe laces will be untied and because of that, he'll wanna go to a bar get wasted. You know what? Fine, I'll go ahead and say it. I'm glad he's gone. Although I will say I was completely shocked when he admitted doing cocaine at the bar that night he completely lost it. That definitely explained a lot about his behavior. His goodbye letter to drugs and alcohol was something else...

Brianna is surprised to hear she'll sing with Alex Band
Brianna is stunned to hear that she'll be performing with Alex Band for a benefit concert

But enough about Joey. Dave & Kimberly don't do anything on the show, and I'll get to Will in a second, so that just leaves Brianna. She basically gets opportunities handed to her on a silver platter and she's still complaining about not liking to work hard. Max Gousse (supposedly a big-time music producer) comes to the house, likes her voice, and afterwards she still tells her mom how she's unsure about it because she knows it'll take work and effort? C'mon now Brianna. You're even giving the lazy negroes a bad name.

And if that wasn't enough, she gets an amazing opportunity to perform at a benefit concert with Alex Band, a member of The Calling. Was I the only one who didn't know who the heck The Calling were and was slightly surprised by how hype Brianna was about them? Granted I don't listen to rock music, but I feel like I would have at least heard the names of the big rock groups. But anyway, Brianna actually has a pretty good voice. She needs to stop smoking cigarettes and not wear hoochie shorts when she performs on Hollywood Boulevard so that she seems more like a street performer and less like a street walker, but hey let's not ask too much all at one time. Brianna's not sitting at home doing nothing anymore, so that's definitely progress.

Phew, finally that episode is over and we can get on to the juiciness and drama of the rest of the season. The preview of the remainder of the season showed two new cast members joining the house. And they are both Black! Is this a new Real World record? Now, all we need is for Obama to make it into the White House and we've made it! Four Black cast members in the house? I'm sure we'll hear lots of "thoughtful nuggets" from Kim in the upcoming episodes.

So apparently in episode #10, Will is falling in love with Janelle. And who can blame him, she's definitely head and shoulder above the rest of the females we've seen so far this season. But then apparently he gets himself with the new girl even after claiming that he "only has eyes for Janelle." Janelle seems a lil' too chill to get in a cat fight, but a brotha can have hope right?

Missed episode #9? Well, you didn't miss much. But if you'd still like to see it, you can watch the full episode over at

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Saturday, June 14, 2008

One Night Stand = Bad Idea

Kristina Caban branded ex-lover
Kristina Caban branded ex-lover with letter "R" after not calling her back reported yesterday that Kristina Caban, 23, was sentenced to 5 years in prison after branding a date's body in 2006 with the letter "R" as payback for never calling her back after they had sex in 2004.

In October 2006, Ms. Caban lured Samir "Sammy" Sara to a hotel room where her new boyfriend, Robert Testagrossa, and another man grabbed and tased him. While immobilized, Caban grabbed a long piece of metal wire formed into a 4-inch "R", heated it, and applied it to Mr. Sasa's torso. Prosecutors still do not know what the "R" stands for.

I have a couple of thoughts on this. First, Ms. Caban had a one night stand some time in 2004 and then he didn't call her back afterwards. I can definitely understand her being upset/distraught/pissed/embarassed/etc for a lil' while. Maybe even a couple of weeks. But for two whole years?!?! She didn't finally get her revenge (hey, maybe that's what the "R" stood for) until October 2006. How could she hold a grudge for that long? He had to have done more than just not call her back to still be mad after two years. I've heard about "a woman scorned..." but c'mon now. Let it go!

Secondly, Mr. Sasa is an idiot. How the heck did she lure him back to a hotel??? He had sex with her, never called her back, prolly knew she wasn't happy about that, and then two years later she just hits him up out of the blue and he decides to kick it with her? He clearly was not thinking logically. And now he's got a big "R" on his torso. That'll be an interesting conversation with future girlfriends...

Yup, that's the world we live in...

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Men Would Like to Know: Why do you even go to the club then?

It's been a cool minute since I last wrote one of these. The timing has just been off and I've always been real busy or tired during the middle of the week. I wrote the last one about taking a break 3 weeks ago. Not surprising, no one was really in favor of breaking in a relationship and everyone recognized its futility. It's funny though that we all know it's a mistake, but when we're in the situation, we still go down that path thinking this time it'll somehow be different. Maybe this'll change things.

Now onto the 7th episode of the "Men Would Like to Know" series...

I actually planned to ask a question from the ladies to the fellas, but yesterday I got to talking to one of my homies and I just had to ask this one instead. I still haven't figure out a concise way to articulate the question, so I'll just present it in a couple of situations, which may or may not have happened to Tijani this past weekend...

Situation #1: "The Ring"
The Ring movieSo a group of guys are at the club posted on a wall scoping out the scene. After a lil' bit, they spot a group of cute girls dancing with rhythm (this is important) and are talking about going over to dance with them. One of the guys (let's call him Johnny) suggests to one of his boys (we'll call him Barry) that he should go and dance with the tightest one. Barry, knowing that Johnny isn't that good of a wingman, responds, "man why don't you go dance with her?" After a some back and forth, the whole group decides to roll up to the ladies.

They all pick who they want to dance with and the dude who didn't pick quickly enough is left with the weak, thin-challenged girl. But halfway through the chorus of "Lollipop", the entire group of girls moves a short distance away. Now the guys are all confused because they broke out their best Sean John button-ups and got fresh fades for the club, so they know they shouldn't be getting dissed. The tightest one out the crew (I'll call him Ken), rolls up to one of the girls and asks her what the deal is. She responds, "I'm just here to have fun with my girls."

What's up with that? If y'all are just tryna dance together to some music, you coulda stayed at home and watched BET. Why come to the club only to dance with your girls, knowing full well dudes are gonna wanna holla and dance with you? My guess is that the ladies wanna dress up & look all cute, and just want to know that they are still wanted by dudes, but aren't actually tryna get at 'em...

Situation #2: "The Hater"
Haterade, is it in you?Unfortunately (for us) there are many types of hatin' females, so I have to break this situation into a couple scenarios:

Scenario A: "I need to go to the bathroom"
Johnny and Barry spot a pair of girls dancing. Barry's feeling one of the girls and asks Johnny to come along. Johnny's kinda hesitant because the other girl looks like Condoleezza's baby sister, but Barry's his boy, so he'll take one for the team. They start dancing with the girls, and Barry's girl is twerkin' something so serious, he really thinks he might actually get "Love in this Club". But right when he's gonna use Jeezy's verse as an opportunity to spit some game in her ear, Condy Jr. says she has to go to the bathroom and pulls her girl away with her.

What's up with that? Obviously Young Leezy's homegirl was feelin' my man Barry, so why she gotta hate? Barry brought Johnny over as a wingman in hopes of preventing such a catastrophe. If she really needed to go to the bathroom that badly, she coulda just rolled by herself, right? I mean if the situations were reversed and a cute girl rolled up on Barry, you wouldn't see Johnny hating. He would just politely excuse himself from her weak friend and find someone tighter to dance with. Girls can be so rude sometimes. Geez.

Scenario B: "I'm ready to go"
So the club is getting ready to shut down (that'd make it 1:45 in the Bay Area or 3:45 everywhere else in country) and the DJ is playing "Get Like Me" for like the third time. And without fail, Johnny puts his stunna shades on to let the club know that stuntin' in fact is a habit so you should probably get like him. He sees this one honey peeping him out the corner of his stunnas, so he rolls over to scoop. But she's got a girlfriend who doesn't look to pleased to still be in the club. Sweat and weave are arch nemeses of each other. Anyway, Johnny and homegirl are vibin' and start choppin' it up for a lil' bit. But before Johnny can even give her a holler card, her girl says "I'm ready to go" and pulls her away, out of the club, leaving them nowhere to be found.

What's up with that? Why would she drag her away when she clearly sees that my manz Johnny is tryna pull? Why she gotta be mad that no one tried to holla at her and take it out on everybody else? She def ordered a glass of haterade, shaken not stirred. Shady.

There are many more similar situations, but I think that these give an idea of the forces that we're up against. Why do girls even go to the club if they aren't gonna dance or are gonna be an O-lineman against dudes tryna holla at their friends? At least if the club was just filled with dudes, we'd know what to expect and just leave. A club full of "unavailable" girls is just frustrating. Men would like to know...

This blog post is completely fictional. Any similarity or connection to actual people, places or events is purely coincidental. For educational purposes only.

Update: Check out the imported facebook note version of this blog entry for many more comments on this topic.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Real World XX: Hollywood Wrap-Up, Episode #8, Arrival and Departure

Real World group hug after Joey returns
The Real Worlders share a group hug after Joey returns to the house

Although episode 8 ended with a shocker (more on that at the end), the first 50 minutes were pretty lackluster to be perfectly honest. Maybe all the drama from the first half of the season raised the bar too high, or maybe the cast is just not that interesting. I'm not quite sure which one it is yet.

So Joey came back! Finally after 30 days in rehab he returned to the Real World house in Studio 20. And he obviously came back a different person. At first I felt really badly for him. When all the roommates came to visit him at the rehab clinic, they promised that they would tone down the partying. They promised that they would not have alcohol in the house. They promised to really be there for him because they cared. But what do they end up doing the first night?? They pre-party at the house, roll out to the club, and come home at 4:30 in the morning extra hype and wake him up.

I don't even know why the house mates told Joey that they would curb their partying in the Real World house. Even though Brianna was extra cold about it, I gotta give her props for being upfront about how she felt. I mean, she was right. Nobody owes anybody anything. They didn't come on the Real World in Hollywood just to chill. They came to wild out. Sure they care for Joey somewhat, but not enough to stop doing them.

But then as the show continued, Joey just started to get real whiny and it got really annoying. I mean, c'mon, what did he expect? He's coming out of rehab into the Real World house! In Hollywood! I said it in my previous wrap-up that he should've just gone home. The Real World environment is definitely not a recovery environment. That's like a recovering sex-addict coming back to a time-share in Vegas, living with R. Kelly, Wilt Chamberlain & Reggie Bush, and then getting mad when they bring strippers and hookers back to the crib. Sometimes you just gotta not put yourself in compromising situations...

The gang in silence as Greg is fired
The gang sits in silence as Greg gets the boot

And then there's jacket-twirling Gregory... He gets a call from his mom about a fashion show and he auditions for it even though the show would be on the same night as a big Improv show at the IO. He gets rejected, though, for being "too beefy." Apparently they wanted someone a bit thinner and a lot more homosexual. That white outfit they had him try on was ridiculous. Even though he wasn't going to be in the fashion show, he decided to go to the after-party instead of the Improv performance in order to network with people (a.k.a. actually have fun). Like he said, he came to Hollywood to be a model, not to do improv.

But his decision to blow off improv, turned out to be strike number 3. He had skipped a practice and a show before, and Charna was tired of his excuses and fired him. The only problem is that once you're fired from your job on the Real World, you're kicked off the show! Charna gave the roommates an opportunity to defend Greg and plead for him not to be kicked off, but he had burned all of his bridges, picked up the ashes and threw them out at sea. There was no way that they'd have his back now, and I think Charna knew it too. She was def going for the knife twist. So the episode ends as Reva is picking up Greg to take him to the airport. So long Greg. You are now "The Kicked Off One."

My guess is by the end of episode #9, there will only be 5 folks left in the house. Joey conveniently has some friends visiting him, and one of them seems like a terrible influence. Just for his safety, I hope he goes home. Plus, I'm getting tired of hearing him complain about it (as bad as that sounds). The question, though, is will the show even be worth watching after Greg and Joey are gone? Sarah and Dave are pretty boring, Kim is annoying and Will has fallen off in recent weeks. Brianna might have to get impregnated by JoJo to make the show still entertaining...

Missed episode #8? You can watch the full episode over at

Previous Wrap-ups:

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Beat L.A.!

Kevin Garnett dunks on Pau Gasol in Game 1 of 2008 NBA Finals

Dr. Hoops, in his detailed analysis of the 2008 NBA Finals, has picked the Los Angeles Lakers to win the Larry O'Brien trophy in 6 games. This is after he had the Boston Celtics in 6 games before the playoffs had even started. Why'd he change his mind? Well he felt that the Lakers looked stronger in the first 3 playoff rounds (swept the Nuggets, beat the Jazz in 6, and handled the defending champion Spurs in 5) than the Celtics (lost 3 road games to Atlanta, almost lost to the LeBrons in 7, and beat Detroit in 6). I actually don't blame him for switching his pick. I actually thought the Lakers had the better chance of winning the series before the Finals began too.

But then the "underdog" Celtics (who won 67 games this season by the way) beat the Lakers in game 1. Does this mean that the Celtics are going to win the championship? No, not really. But the winner of the first game does win over 70% of 7-game series. Game 1 was a great game for any NBA fan (unless you are a Laker lover) because it was competitive throughout and was decided in the final minutes. Pierce's quick return from what seemed like a series-ending injury ignited the crowd and lifted the Celtics to victory.

Kobe Bryant walks off the court after losing Game 1 in the 2008 NBA finalsKobe, however, had a rather lackluster performance. Sure he missed a couple of "bunnies" as he called them, but if I were a Laker fan (which I'm not) that wouldn't really bother me. 9 times out of 10 he's not missing those shots. But what would bother me was his decision-making. He was taking some heavily contested fall-away jumpers that were reminiscent of Mr. Mamba when he still had #8 on his back. And even when he was passing, he was forcing it and had 4 turnovers. He did finish with 6 assists though, which is still really good. Hopefully Kobe (and Lamar Odom) will step it up in Game 2. The series is far from over. They only need to win once in Boston to steal home-court advantage.

So who do I want to be the 2008 NBA World Champions? I really don't know. It's a tough one. Usually I just root against the Lakers out of habit because a majority of my friends are Laker fans and it's more fun to be a Laker hater. But I had to root for the Lakers against Utah because I detest the Jazz and against San Antonio because I was tired of seeing the boring Spurs in the finals. I've never ever been a Celtics fan, but I am a KG fan and I would like to see him elevate himself into the Top PF ever conversation.

I found myself rooting for the Celtics in Game 1, so I guess that's who I'll go with for the remainder of the series. And I was so inspired by their Game 1 victory with their chants of "Beat L.A.! Beat L.A.!" that I went ahead and made it into a ZAZZLE t-shirt. How crazy would it be to see everyone rockin' this in the new Garden for Game 5, if there even is one...

I also liked this t-shirt I found in the ZAZZLE marketplace:

Game 2 airs on Sunday, June 7th at 9PM EST / 6PM PST on ABC. Beat L.A.!

Friday, June 6, 2008

Chris Brown Gear on ZAZZLE

Chris BrownChris Brown, the human dance machine, now has a store on ZAZZLE where he's selling exclusive merchandise including, shirts, posters, mugs, stamps, and more. ZAZZLE, the only on-demand retail platform to offer billions of products that ship in 24 hours, allows Chris Brown and other artists big and small to merchandise their digital content without having to keep inventory. Artists make a majority of their money through concert ticket sales and from selling merchandise at those concerts. They don't really make that much money off album sales.

But at those concerts they can't offer a Chris Brown eXclusive t-shirt in over 60 different styles or a Chris Brown hat in 11 different color combinations. They simply can't keep that much inventory on hand. And even if they just decide to have the most popular items, there's no way that they could have a Chris Brown poster that a fan can personalize to include where and when they saw him in concert. ZAZZLE truly offers "infinite one-of-a-kindness" to artists, entertainers, and their fans.

Chris Brown just recently released a video for his latest single "Forever" off of his November 2007 "eXclusive" album. It's pretty good I guess.

ZAZZLE has other hip-hop stars like Disturbing Tha Peace (DTP), Young Joc, Chingy, and Romeo, in addition to other popular acts like Maroon5, Black Eyed Peas, Tommy Lee, and KISS. Many more are sure to follow...

But before I go, here are some more featured Chris Brown gear on ZAZZLE:

Interested in which bands are selling their merchandise exclusively on ZAZZLE? Visit the ZAZZLE Music Merch page for the full list of musical artists. Happy shopping!

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Black Music Month Promotion

Apparently June is officially Black Music Month (who knew?) and is partnering with Apple iTunes to provide free music for the entire month. Each day in the month of June, when you visit's Black Music Month promotion page, you will be able to download the song of the day for free by "fantastic Black musicians from Hip-Hop, R&B, Soul and other forms of musical expression." All you have to do is fill out a couple of fields in a form and you'll be given a code that will allow you to redeem the song.

The first 4 songs that are available are:

  1. Ray J ft. The Game - "Where They At"
  2. Killer Mike - "2 Sides"
  3. Yung Berg - "The Business"
  4. Ras Kass - "It Had 2 Happen"

I think this is a pretty cool idea. I guess it all depends on what songs they will have available. I really wonder how is choosing which ones to promote because this could be really big for the artists. has to be getting something out of it more than just additional publicity. Well if anything, it'll be a good way to find new music.

Gotta love an HBCU

Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCU)Over the weekend, me and the homies were having an argument over Stacks brunch about the ratio of women-to-men at historically Black colleges & universities (HBCUs). There's this folklore that the ratios are crazy like 12-to-1, but I find it hard to believe. ANd that's not just because I went to Stanford where it was basically 1-to-1. I've never been in an HBCU for more than a couple of hours so I cannot personally attest to the ratio, but from talking to many guys who have attended HBCUs, it certainly feels like the ratio is 12-to-1 to them.

The main reason that I couldn't believe that the ratio could be 12-to-1 (or anything close to that) is because of what that translates to in terms of student population. For there to be 1 male for ever 12 females, that would mean that less than 8% of the student body is male. To put that into actual numbers, if there are 2000 students at the HBCU, only about 150 of them are guys while 1850 are ladies. That seems amazing (if you're a dude), but highly unlikely.

I did a bit of research on the gender breakdowns at some of the top HBCUs: Clark Atlanta, Howard, Hampton, Xavier (Louisiana), Dillard, Florida A&M University, etc. The school with the highest ratio is Clark Atlanta which is nearly 3.5-to-1. Xavier was close with about 3.25-to-1. Howard, Hampton and Dillard all over were 2-to-1. The average across all the schools was around 2.25-to-1.

So how are dudes claiming that ratio feels like it's in the double digits? I really have no idea. But what may bridge the gap from the supposed 12-to-1 to the statistical 2.5-to-1 may be the fact that a chunk of the males in the HBCU are homosexual. So when you disregard them (since they have no effect on pullability), then maybe the ratio is somewhere around 6-to-1.

But in honor of how great it must feel to be a straight dude at an HBCU, I made a ZAZZLE t-shirts in a number of different text colors and are available in 250+ styles and colors:

Here's the basic black on white:

You can even get it in a hooded sweatshirt with red lettering:

Or with blue text on a longsleeve shirt:

And even an eco-friendly & sustainable edun LIVE natural shirt in green:

I did my best to pick an array of shirt styles that ZAZZLE offers, but there are only so many that actually have a Black model. Check out the entire "I love my HBCU" product line in the BeneSol ZAZZLE gallery.