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Dear BenMVP,
I'm SOOOOOOO mad at my (soon-to-be-ex) boyfriend right now! I can't believe him! He's supposed to be there for me and have my back, but he basically left me hanging. Here's what happened...
It was a warm & sunny day last Saturday, so I decided to have some R&R in the sun at the park that's a few blocks from my apartment. Because it was pretty hot and I wanted to get maximum tannage, I wore this tank top with some short shorts (picture Beyoncé in the Crazy In Love video... except I'm not that tight).
Learn how to train your man like you do a dog!After 2 enjoyable hours in the sun finishing up Men are Dogs, I headed back to my apartment. About a block away from home, I saw a group of guys congregating in front of the corner store. I immediately got apprehensive because I knew that they were gonna say something. I just hoped that they wouldn't cross the street and try to make physical contact (I had my can of mace ready).
And as I passed them, they (unfortunately) didn't disappoint. They shouted out all sorts of humiliating things that ranged from crude to lewd. It's sad to say, but I'm now used to the "I hate to see you go baby, but I love to see you walk away!" comments, but c'mon... "Can I get some breasts with those thighs?" is not something I want yelled at me from across the street in front of my apartment building. I'm trying to remember this one dude's comment. It had something to do with a monkey wrench, tweezers, and baby oil. Now that I think about it... I don't even want to remember.
So anyway, I get home and I'm completely disgusted and feeling like a piece of meat, so I call up my (soon-to-be-ex) boyfriend. I told him what happened and about the comments those guys made. But instead of immediately being on my side and saying how disgusting those guys were, he asked me what I was wearing! As if it mattered! So I told him: tank, short shorts, flip flops, and some mean Gucci shades. And you know how he responds??? "Yeah... ok... yeah that makes sense then." THAT MAKES SENSE??? He's lucky he wasn't in the room with me or I woulda two-pieced him like this unfortunate girl in McDonalds.
All dudes are grimey! And apparently my (soon-to-be-ex) boyfriend is no exception. I still can't believe he thought their actions were acceptable. I should be able to dress however I like and walk wherever I want, WITHOUT BEING HARASSED!!! It reminds me of the time me and my girls went out to the club and I was wearing this sexy, black strapless halter-top thingy with a slit down the right side. I looked good. And I know I looked good cuz the next day when I put the pics on facebook, all my homegirls posted comments like "u look so cute girl!", "girl, u look fabulous!" and "OMG u look so fly!" (even though I know they really were just talking about my dress and not me).
But anyway, dudes at the club were grabbing at me constantly and made the same nasty comments too. Ok, I'll admit that my thang thangs were hanging out a lil' bit, but it's not my fault that I'm well-endowed in the upper respiratory region. I wanted to look sexy so I showed off my best assets. I mean, I wanted to attract attention, just not that type of attention.
But I still cannot believe my (soon-to-be-ex) boyfriend!!! Why doesn't he get it?!?! AND WHY ARE ALL MEN SO GRIMEY?!?!
Hating men right about now,
Vaseline (pronounced Vaz-lyn)
P.S. - When I say "all men are grimey" please know that I'm not talking about you. I know that you are the consummate gentleman. You could've hosted From G's to Gents instead of Farnsworth Bentley (shotout to Creepa!).
I'm SOOOOOOO mad at my (soon-to-be-ex) boyfriend right now! I can't believe him! He's supposed to be there for me and have my back, but he basically left me hanging. Here's what happened...
It was a warm & sunny day last Saturday, so I decided to have some R&R in the sun at the park that's a few blocks from my apartment. Because it was pretty hot and I wanted to get maximum tannage, I wore this tank top with some short shorts (picture Beyoncé in the Crazy In Love video... except I'm not that tight).
Learn how to train your man like you do a dog!
And as I passed them, they (unfortunately) didn't disappoint. They shouted out all sorts of humiliating things that ranged from crude to lewd. It's sad to say, but I'm now used to the "I hate to see you go baby, but I love to see you walk away!" comments, but c'mon... "Can I get some breasts with those thighs?" is not something I want yelled at me from across the street in front of my apartment building. I'm trying to remember this one dude's comment. It had something to do with a monkey wrench, tweezers, and baby oil. Now that I think about it... I don't even want to remember.
So anyway, I get home and I'm completely disgusted and feeling like a piece of meat, so I call up my (soon-to-be-ex) boyfriend. I told him what happened and about the comments those guys made. But instead of immediately being on my side and saying how disgusting those guys were, he asked me what I was wearing! As if it mattered! So I told him: tank, short shorts, flip flops, and some mean Gucci shades. And you know how he responds??? "Yeah... ok... yeah that makes sense then." THAT MAKES SENSE??? He's lucky he wasn't in the room with me or I woulda two-pieced him like this unfortunate girl in McDonalds.
All dudes are grimey! And apparently my (soon-to-be-ex) boyfriend is no exception. I still can't believe he thought their actions were acceptable. I should be able to dress however I like and walk wherever I want, WITHOUT BEING HARASSED!!! It reminds me of the time me and my girls went out to the club and I was wearing this sexy, black strapless halter-top thingy with a slit down the right side. I looked good. And I know I looked good cuz the next day when I put the pics on facebook, all my homegirls posted comments like "u look so cute girl!", "girl, u look fabulous!" and "OMG u look so fly!" (even though I know they really were just talking about my dress and not me).
But anyway, dudes at the club were grabbing at me constantly and made the same nasty comments too. Ok, I'll admit that my thang thangs were hanging out a lil' bit, but it's not my fault that I'm well-endowed in the upper respiratory region. I wanted to look sexy so I showed off my best assets. I mean, I wanted to attract attention, just not that type of attention.
But I still cannot believe my (soon-to-be-ex) boyfriend!!! Why doesn't he get it?!?! AND WHY ARE ALL MEN SO GRIMEY?!?!
Hating men right about now,
Vaseline (pronounced Vaz-lyn)
P.S. - When I say "all men are grimey" please know that I'm not talking about you. I know that you are the consummate gentleman. You could've hosted From G's to Gents instead of Farnsworth Bentley (shotout to Creepa!).
Ohhhhhh Vaseline,
First of all, slap your parents. Secondly, slap the doctor for actually allowing your parents to name you that. And lastly, thanks - I'm glad you noticed.
So I have mixed feelings about your situation. On one hand I feel bad for you because not only were you treated like a piece of meat (Kobe beef?), but your boyfriend didn't have your back. That's kind of sad. On the other hand, I feel like you should've known you would get that kind of (negative) reaction dressed the way you were so you shouldn't be so surprised.
I'm by no means saying it's your fault. Lewd comments are inappropriate and there should be no place for them. You should never feel disrespected or like a piece of meat (honey BBQ chicken?). But you can't expect to "dress sexy" and not get those negative responses (i.e. responses from dudes you're not interested in).
How not to dress for an interview
It kinda trips me out when girls showcase their best asset(s), but get mad at all the attention they are getting. I mean, I'm assuming that they are flaunting the goods to get some wanted attention. But doing that is simply "attention-seeking" not "wanted attention-seeking." They're definitely gonna get the unwanted attention too.
You mentioned that you should be able to go somewhere dressed how you like without getting harassed. But I ask, how would you feel if you went out "dressed to kill" and you got zero attention? How would you feel about that? Disregarding the inappropriate comments, I'd say that being approached by guys you're not interested in would also classify as being harassed as well. Shoot, I don't like it when weak girls be all up on me either. So like I've said, you can't get the good without the bad.
But honestly, I'm sad to say that some dudes are gonna be grimey no matter what you do. You could be looking severely tore up (from the floor up) like you just pulled a three all-nighters, wearing sweatpants with holes in them and a t-shirt that says "I'm only wearing this cuz I doo-doo'd in my good clothes," and a grimey dude would still be like "girl you so fine, you could doo-doo in my hand and I'd just laugh and say 'quit playin'." It's really sad actually.
And oh yeah, don't break up with your boyfriend. He was just being an idiot. I don't think he really meant any harm by it.
Please invest in some turtlenecks,
BenMVP
I imagine that there are some people (99.9% of them female) who probably don't agree with what I just said. I really don't think that it's the girl's fault. But then again, I feel like more conservative dressing typically results in less of that negative attention. However, I definitely don't want all females dressed like the Puritans. That would be beyond depressing.
If all dudes could behave like gentlemen and keep their thoughts & comments to themselves (or at least among their boys) even if she isn't leaving anything to the imagination, then things would be a lot better. But y'all should know that 4-tooth Jerome is still gonna try to holla no matter how you look...
This blog post is purely fictional. Any similarity or connection to actual people, places or events is purely coincidental. For educational purposes only.
Update: Check out the facebook note version of this blog entry for more comments on this topic.
